In June of 1971, just
days before his 26-year-old son, Michael, got married, future-U.S. President
Ronald Reagan sent him the following letter of advice. It really is quite
stunning. Wanaume wote wanatakiwa kuisoma barua hii endelea
Michael Reagan
Manhattan Beach, California
June 1971
Dear Mike:
Enclosed is the item I mentioned (with which goes a torn up IOU). I could stop here but I won't.
You've heard all the jokes that have been rousted around by all the "unhappy marrieds" and cynics. Now, in case no one has suggested it, there is another viewpoint. You have entered into the most meaningful relationship there is in all human life. It can be whatever you decide to make it.
Manhattan Beach, California
June 1971
Dear Mike:
Enclosed is the item I mentioned (with which goes a torn up IOU). I could stop here but I won't.
You've heard all the jokes that have been rousted around by all the "unhappy marrieds" and cynics. Now, in case no one has suggested it, there is another viewpoint. You have entered into the most meaningful relationship there is in all human life. It can be whatever you decide to make it.
Some men feel their
masculinity can only be proven if they play out in their own life all the
locker-room stories, smugly confident that what a wife doesn't know won't hurt
her. The truth is, somehow, way down inside, without her ever finding lipstick
on the collar or catching a man in the flimsy excuse of where he was till three
A.M., a wife does know, and with that knowing, some of the magic of this
relationship disappears. There are more men griping about marriage who kicked
the whole thing away themselves than there can ever be wives deserving of
blame. There is an old law of physics that you can only get out of a thing as
much as you put in it. The man who puts into the marriage only half of what he
owns will get that out. Sure, there will be moments when you will see someone
or think back to an earlier time and you will be challenged to see if you can
still make the grade, but let me tell you how really great is the challenge of
proving your masculinity and charm with one woman for the rest of your life.
Any man can find a twerp here and there who will go along with cheating, and it
doesn't take all that much manhood. It does take quite a man to remain
attractive and to be loved by a woman who has heard him snore, seen him
unshaven, tended him while he was sick and washed his dirty underwear. Do that
and keep her still feeling a warm glow and you will know some very beautiful
music. If you truly love a girl, you shouldn't ever want her to feel, when she
sees you greet a secretary or a girl you both know, that humiliation of
wondering if she was someone who caused you to be late coming home, nor should
you want any other woman to be able to meet your wife and know she was smiling
behind her eyes as she looked at her, the woman you love, remembering this was
the woman you rejected even momentarily for her favors.
Mike, you know better than many what an unhappy home is and what it can do to others. Now you have a chance to make it come out the way it should. There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.
Love,
Dad
P.S. You'll never get in trouble if you say "I love you" at least once a day.
(Source: Reagan: A Life In Letters;)
Mike, you know better than many what an unhappy home is and what it can do to others. Now you have a chance to make it come out the way it should. There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.
Love,
Dad
P.S. You'll never get in trouble if you say "I love you" at least once a day.
(Source: Reagan: A Life In Letters;)
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